I don’t have a girlfriend. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Stay safe, eat cake. Sit back down. How do you stay ahead of the competition and ensure you're sharing amazing, relevant content? I’m so hungry. Number three: what was I talking about again? Hacker News lets you search for content from: It’s a must-have app for your mobile device or tablet. Looking for funny pics to post on Facebook? This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. I’m self-employed. As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it’s important that you lower your expectations. Although there aren’t any rules about when you can or can’t post on someone’s Timeline, one convention that has evolved over time is the Happy Birthday Timeline post. Guess who has three thumbs and found a severed hand in the parking lot: THIS GUY! 2. Below you will find a compilation of over 100 funny Facebook status from around the web. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.” – Ellen DeGeneres. What can you do to promote world peace? If you’re going to keep being so attractive, I’m going to need you to make out with me. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right! Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. 7 surprising ways you can! Use the search tool to find content relevant to your industry. If you don't change the setting every time, it … I can arrange results based on: Here I searched for fitness tips and found a bunch of content for my page (don't forget to cite your source in the post): Post Planner is so much more than a social media scheduling tool. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. It’s always darkest before dawn. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Can’t stand me? This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Facebook is kind of like a prison. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Worst transformer ever. This is my biggest collection of cute Facebook quotes and you can share these one liner jokes anywhere on the internet or you can also generate a crazy meme … Be careful about passing that stuff off as your own, though. Article from bitsandpieces.us. After a while, it will become second nature, and you’ll be able to come up with humorous observations on your own. I am the master of this, if I do say so myself. Wrestling is obviously fake. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. You can replace posts with “photos” if you want to see pictures your friend on which your friend has clicked “Like.” Or whatever…. Got a problem with me? I could never cheat in a relationship that requires 2 women to find me attractive. This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. How am I supposed to be impressed by a computer winning at Jeopardy when Google usually knows what I’m looking for after 2 letters? My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Facebook is still a blessing. The number one thing to keep in mind is to be yourself no matter what. BuzzFeed Staff 1. Women should not have children after 35. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. When you like a photo, a status update, or a post shared by a friend of yours, your friend who originally made the post is in control of privacy settings. People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people. Funny Quotes & Humor Sayings. Christmas came early this year! Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.